What happens if….

it rains 16 out of 18 days?

1.  The Gardener gets very grumpy, watching the fields flood and the mulch washing away.  The area farmers will have to replant hundreds of acres once it dries out, and planting in general is falling way behind schedule.
2.   The plants in the gardens can’t grow because it is so cool and gray; some give up and rot.  Some are eaten by critters forced out of their usual areas by high water.
3.   There is so much standing water that the metal post holding our satellite dish that hosts the internet rusts enough that the 55 mph winds break it loose!  Now the gardener can’t even lessen her frustrations by reading fellow gardeners’ blogs, or post any of her own.
4.   Those same winds pull all the tulip petals off.  They blow across the lawn like orange autumn leaves, leaving bare stems.  Good-bye spring.
5.   Containers must be moved from the patio.  The rain puddles are deeper than the drainage holes and plants are sagging in defeat.
6. The satellite dish repairman finally comes and attaches the dish to the side of the gazebo…not attractive but faster than pouring new concrete in waterlogged soil.
7.   The gardener reads a few blogs and contemplates her next post, fearing that her readers may suspect she has drowned, but has to turn computer off due to a large, noisy thunderstorm.
8.   The next morning, there is no internet again.  The gardener despairs, and decides she might as well travel to see P. Allen Smith’s gardens in Arkansas.  It was well worth the trip.  (Photos to come later.)  It rained the entire 4 days she was gone.
9.   Returning home after 9 p.m., the gardener smiles as the wind finally ceases, as well as the rain, but can she rejoice?  No, because clear skies forecast frost.  She covers all she can by the headlights of her pick-up truck and hopes for the best.
10.   Not just frost, but a hard freeze envelops the area that night.  It turns the potatoes black and the broccoli leaves white.  All the soil blocks of plants in flats are frozen solid.  A day or so later the blackened parts have turned brown and the potatoes seem to be recovering with new green leaves.  The internet is still not working. 
11.   After hours on the phone with technicians, it is determined that the router for the wi-fi is fried.  Probably struck by lightning.  Drive to town (the big town where such things are available, not our local 3-miles-away town.)  A new router is purchased.
12.   The rain returns.  Sigh!  More hours spent trying to get new router connected and working.  Technician on phone finally suggests the router may be defective and should be returned for a new one.  Another trip to the big town.  Ugh! Another day spent in tech-land rather than real land.
13.   Finally squeezed in an afternoon of deadheading the soggy beds and borders, and seeded a few rows in the raised beds of the potager.  The broccoli is turning multi-hued with pink, purple and gold tones.  Is that healthier than white?
14.   Dumped the frozen plants that did not recover and replanted.  There is a bit of actual sunshine in the late afternoon.  Not sure where the sunglasses are…they are probably antiques by now.
15.   Forecast is for 80 degree temperatures and sunshine for two days before the rain returns.  The gardener would do a happy dance, but realizes she is scheduled for a colonoscopy and will be spending those two days indoors.  Then more rain coming.
16.  On the plus side, 9 books were read in those 18 days, the internet seems to be working (knock wood!) and I’ve kick-started the new diet albeit it in a not very fun way.  There’s always a silver-lining in those storm clouds, if one searches!