Conversation?

Winter view front   We’ve had another snow which brings more quiet time; time for reading, baking, cooking, thinking, and most of all time for visiting blogs.  To me, one of the great aspects of blogs, and especially those about gardening, is the opportunity to share ideas, techniques, great sources, plant varieties, and experiments.  Gardeners are famous for their generosity.  We are happy to pass along plants, knowledge, loan tools, give a helping hand, and share surplus harvests.  We delight in giving an extra plant or a colorful bouquet to any visitor that gives the slightest word of praise to our efforts at growing.  We go out of our way to help a beginner.  I’m proud to be part of that gardening community, my gardening family…even if some of you live on the other side of the globe and we’ve never met face-to-face and aren’t likely to ever have that experience.

With that sense of sharing in mind, that quiet conversation through the keyboard, it disturbs me to see the growing trend in bloggers who fail to include a comment capability on their sites.  I’m so disappointed to read an especially good post, only to find no comment box at the bottom for my praise.  When I learn something new, I want to thank the author for sharing.  And, it breaks my heart to read a post outlining a plan with a glaring error that I know through experience will lead to failure, but I have no way to gently warn them.

The missing comment option suggests the author does not want feedback of any kind, positive or negative.  They want to preach, but not listen.  Do they feel they know it all and do not need suggestions?  It implies they do not want conversations with the gardening family.

Maybe I’m just old-fashioned, but to me a comment box at least indicates a willingness to discuss a topic, a politeness and civility that is becoming harder to find in everyday life.  Sometimes, I may choose not to comment, but it’s lovely to know the author invites my response if I have one.  Otherwise, it feels like the overbearing uncle that talks so loud at dinner, and has such strong opinions that he refuses to allow anyone else to express their views.

From now on, if there is no comment box symbol, it’s most likely I’ll just skip that post.  I’d rather have a conversation than a lecture!  Am I being too harsh?  Does it bother you?  Or do you view it another way?

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About carolee

A former professional herb and lavender grower, now just growing for joy in my new potager. When I'm not in the garden, I'm in the kitchen, writing, or traveling to great gardens.
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18 Responses to Conversation?

  1. bcparkison says:

    Me too. Some I would just like to encourage to carry on but ….no way to let them know.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I haven’t found that many without room for comments, but you are right. When you come across one that you want to leave a word of praise, and you can’t find anywhere to comment, it is frustrating. I guess to me, it says they can’t be bothered with responding, so they don’t leave a place for commenting. There is a new generation out there that really knows nothing of social etiquette and that is sad.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My favorite is when the post includes a recipe. You are following along the recipe and it says something like “add the flour” but no where in the recipe does it mention what kind of flour or how much. What a waste! I think comments provide places for growth, both for the reader and the author.

    Like

    • carolee says:

      The recipe ones are frustrating! Recently one said “add eggs” when none had been listed, so I wondered how many but couldn’t ask. I know it can be time-consuming to respond to every comment, but it doesn’t take long to click the “LIKE” button.

      Like

  4. Hear, hear! I have made blogging friends around the world, and I so enjoy the back-and-forth comments. Haven’t yet encountered a blog that doesn’t allow comments. Just lucky, I guess.

    Like

    • carolee says:

      There were four new blogs last week without comment capability, which is what sparked my post. I had been noticing it for a good while now and just wondering if the blogger was new and just didn’t know to add the feedback symbol. Then I took time to go to some of the sites and found that they were fairly long term, and some had several hundred followers. That was perplexing to me, so I wondered if it is becoming more common and if it bothered anyone besides me!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Ann Mackay says:

    The comments are my favourite part of blogging…the chance to ‘chat’ with other people across the world, to feel like part of a community and to make new friends. That’s something precious!

    Like

  6. I love the friendships I am making through blogging and heartily agree that a one-sided conversation is less than satisfying. I don’t allow “notifications” on much on my phone, but will admit that when I get a WordPress ‘ding’ on my phone, it makes me smile and rush to hear what the friend I’ve never met in person has to say.

    Like

  7. Comments are the cherry on the blogging post sundae. However, there are times when posts are personal or painful and the blogger wants his/her followers to know something but doesn’t want to spend days fielding questions. Writing, following, reading, and commenting on blogs is pretty personal so I think we should all go with what feels right. Good post.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Cortney says:

    I would be so sad without comments! I so often find that gardening can be solitary or something you do with your partner/family, but blogging and the comments therein give such a great (and easy) way to connect with others that are like-minded but have different experiences than you.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. When I first started blogging, my very dear friend asked me why I didn’t have a comment section. I was a newbie and didn’t know how to add one, when I finally figured it out, I questioned whether-or-not I could handle comments-as in could my ego handle it if someone were to come along and started saying horrible things about me, my ideas, my thoughts-attacking me as a person?! I’ve since then gotten over that fear, no need to borrow trouble from tomorrow, I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. What won me over was the fact that it encourages interaction & meeting new people-which to me is more important than worrying about a possible naysayer! Maybe some people can’t get over the anxiety that someone might point out their flaws?

    Liked by 1 person

    • carolee says:

      Good insight. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Certainly all bloggers can choose whether or not to ask for feedback through comments. I’m just saying I prefer to read those authors who are willing to converse, rather than spend my time reading someone who doesn’t want a conversation with others. Glad you have chosen to have comments. I would miss your posts!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Robin Edmundson says:

    I absolutely agree. It always surprises me that someone who would take the time to share their ideas with the public doesn’t want any interaction after that.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. write4life says:

    carolee: you recently commented on my post at gwensgreens.com and absolutely MADE MY DAY. I am always open to feedback —- I have found it to be the best (not easiest) way to grow.

    Liked by 1 person

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