Is it Covid Fatigue?

The Front Garden is embarrassingly empty, but do I care?

I’m in a slump, and I admit it. In past years, seeing the Front Garden look so sparse would have had me rushing to the garden center for dozens of mums and filler plants. The diseased zinnias would definitely have been removed, the marigolds deadheaded, and you’ve probably noticed that the rust stains on the window sashes and brick from the sprinklers have yet to be removed even though that’s been on the “to-do” list since late April!

And it’s not just the front garden. There are dried daylily stalks and leaves left in several other locations, edges that have not seen attention recently, plants that need deadheading, and weeds popping up here and there after our last rain. There are carrots and tomatoes to be canned, beets to be thinned, beans to be picked and peppers to be frozen, but it’s easy to think, “Maybe I’ll do it tomorrow.” There’s nothing on the calendar that encourages me to do it today, except the passing of days, cooling temperatures and the approaching frosts. I know that the window of opportunity for harvesting, and for just enjoying the flowers that are blooming is closing quickly, but unlike most years, I’m not imitating the ants and squirrels, and rushing to hoard every bit of food as soon as I find it. I feel guilty, because I know there are people who would love to have that food to preserve, or eat immediately, but here I sit. I’m not complaining, mind you, but just trying to understand this strange (at least for me) and strong lethargy. I totally realize that millions of people are out there doing their jobs while coping with the stresses of the “new normal” and I am so grateful that they are functioning at a much better level than I am.

I want to build 4 boxes to protect strawberry beds from critters next summer, but to use NOW with plastic over-layers as coldframes for spinach and other winter crops until then. But, have I garnered the courage to venture to the lumber store? I have not. I need to repair the holes the carpenter bees drilled into the back wall of my Lady Cottage. I can see daylight here and there, and if I don’t fix them, I’ll soon have woodpeckers making the holes larger, and then wrens and sparrows building nests inside. I tell myself that I’d better get in gear, because when the bulb orders arrive, then I WILL be too busy to play carpenter, that those veggies in the garden will spoil if I don’t get moving, but here I sit. I haven’t even been recording new flowers in the Bloom Journal, or sent in my fall vegetable seed order. I haven’t done any preparation for the upcoming frost…which may come the end of this week!

I miss entertaining, and all the special foods that go with it, but the last three meals I’ve prepared have been edible…just! A cake I love to make didn’t rise; I must have salted the shepherd’s pie more than once; the pizza dough was soggy; I burned the bacon. Yesterday, I baked two apple pies (one for us and one for a neighboring family) and after they were baked, realized that I forgot the cinnamon in one and the butter in the other! I used to bake pies blindfolded and with one arm! What’s going on with my auto pilot system? At this point, I’m not sure inviting guests would be a good idea at all, even without the pandemic threat. The number of cases in our county is now jumping by 2-4 a day, instead of staying fairly consistent for a week or so. That’s tiny in comparison to urban areas, but it’s alarming to me. I baked the pie purposefully to have last night. If I had to suffer through “the Great Debate” at least I deserved pie! As much as I love pie, I only ate half a piece. It should have been called “the Great Debacle” or the “Great American Embarrassment!” Why would I want to vote for either of those out of control name-callers? No wonder our young people lack respect for their elders! And the rest of the world are either laughing at us, or cowering in fear for the future. I’m in the latter camp…

I’m finding it increasingly difficult to come up with ideas for blogging, especially as the gardening season winds down here in Zone 5, but judging from the few new posts in my “Reader” feed, many of you are having that problem as well….or maybe you are busy productively clicking off all the items on your “to-do” lists. If that’s the case, I applaud you. Tell me how you are managing it….I’ll just sit here, being this new, super lazy, un-motivated person that I don’t recognize… and wait…no hurry.